Questions

The ego will question even the idea that a universal experience of love is possible, never mind the experience itself. But it is the experience that counts. It is the experience of love and ‘unearned’ grace where it shouldn’t be--in the midst of a traffic jam, or a radiation treatment, in a grocery store line or at a funeral, the experience that the brain denies, but is nonetheless there, that makes the ego a liar.

 

The ego will demand many answers that cannot be given. It will ask: if God is Love, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? How could a part of perfect Oneness be separate from Itself? How can individuals exist? Though these are in the form of questions, they are really statements, actually one statement:  I believe the ego, separation and individual consciousness are real, and I want you to explain how they happened.

 

The seeming question is an attempt to seduce us into the questioner’s web of separation. To attempt to answer the question, affirms the underlying statement. The only way to truly answer the question is to come from love. That means not letting the obvious differences in form keep us from experiencing the less obvious oneness of content—either a call for love or an expression of love.

 

Underlying the ego’s questions, doubts, fears and constant shrieking is a call for love, a fervent plea: ‘Please help me realize that the separation is not real and I am wrong. Help me shift and choose again.’ The only way I can hear this call for love and respond appropriately, in a way the questioner can hear and accept, is if I realize I am and want to be an expression of love and want to answer without judgment, fear, anger or impatience, as love would answer.

 

“The ego may ask,” The Course says, “‘How did the impossible occur?’, ‘To what did the impossible happen?’ and may ask this in many forms. Yet there is no answer; only an experience. Seek only this and do not let theology delay you.”

A Universal Experience of Love

My intention is to have experiences of spirit more often; to allow these to undo my ego’s sense of separation, alienation and specialness.  Beliefs about how to do this vary, and so it’s not possible to have a universal belief system. Yet such differences are meaningless, for all can serve the single purpose of moving us beyond the form to the universal experience of love.

 

I don’t have to agree with everyone and can’t. But I can experience differences as an opportunity to learn, to see the ego world as a classroom in which to learn that though we may differ on the level of form, our content—either an expression of love or a call for love, remains the same. Form is irrelevant, content is all.

 

Many religions seem to have forgotten this, substituting the rituals of love for the experience of love. Love alone is constant. Once put into form, theology or belief, uncertainty is introduced because not everyone will agree. Brains differ, but the mind is one—both the wrong minded ego—the call for love, and the right mind of spirit—an expression of love. That’s why the experience of spirit’s love is so important. A universal theology is impossible but a unitary experience of spirit is not.

Puny Gifts

Actively being with spirit, aware of Its presence and open to Its guidance, not only saves me from the mistakes and inadequacies of my puny mistaken ego but opens me to the realization that I am part of something greater, that this is not all there is. Realizing that, ‘of myself I can do nothing,’ is a seeming paradox that enables me to gain all power. As a spiritual being, as God created me in Its own image and likeness, I have all the power of spirit; as an ego, I have very little. I need to let go of the power I thought I had, and accept instead the power of spirit that is the still small voice in my mind. The still small voice knows the truth about me, that I am more than the image I made, the ego does not.

 

Yet despite its obvious and complete ignorance, this image assumes it knows most important things because I have given it that belief. Me, the decision-making self in the mind, not the body’s brain, have given it that belief. “Who assumes a power that he does not possess is deceiving himself,” The Course says. The power the ego has on its own is nothing because it is only the power to make illusions. “Yet,” The Course says, “to accept the power given by God is but to acknowledge [It] as Creator and accept [Its] gifts. And [Its] gifts have no limit.”

 

As I awaken to my spiritual reality, I understand I have thrown away the unlimited gifts of spirit and accepted in their place the puny and limited gifts of my ego. Boo! But, as I release the guilt, anger and shame that comes from understanding this, I am able to change, shift and choose again. Hooray! I need not remain only with my ego.

Taking Things Less Seriously

When I take things seriously, which I do most of the time, I’m essentially saying, ‘If I (my ego self) don’t take care of this or do this, it won’t get done.’  This is denying mySelf, my reality as spirit and even that there is a spiritual reality. It’s saying, ‘What you see is what you, get’; that ‘this material reality of time and space is all there is.’ It’s saying, ‘I am separate from God, can live without God, and without spirit’s loving, inclusive, fearless, wise, compassion and creativity in my life.’ Of course, from perspective of every day living it’s true that if I don’t wash my hands and brush my teeth, they won’t get washed or brushed. Spirit won’t do that for me.

 

But what if, as I’ve posted before, my imagined separation from God never happened? What if the still small voice within, the alternative to the ego, speaks for ‘God’ and is constantly reminding me of my oneness with God and my spiritual reality? What if the ego made up this whole belief system of original sin and separation to keep itself in charge and us separated but it’s not the truth?

 

Simply recognizing that this is so, that what I’ve been taking as the ‘truth’ is not the truth but an illusion created by the ego, then recognizing that there is a presence within that does know the truth opens up the possibility of new joyous, compassionate, inclusive, fearless and creative ways of living. I still have to wash my hands and brush my teeth, but I’m doing it with spirit, with the realization that I am part of something greater, that this is not all there is.

Taking Things Less Seriously

Taking things less seriously, doesn’t mean I don’t care. I do care deeply about politics, justice, inclusion, environment and contributing to a world that works for everyone and everything. Taking things less seriously simply means not only do I understand how my ego works, but I understand how to get past it and move forward. It means it’s not up to me fix the world, know all the answers and to be right most of the time. Whew! What a relief! It means all I need do is give my fear, concerns, blaming and sense of urgency over to spirit and go forward with spirit’s guidance. My fear, sense of urgency and concern are ego, made to keep from spirit. As long as I cling to the fear, danger, blaming and sense of loss and doom, I am cut off from spirit and Its guidance.

 

All I need do first is to bring my illusory perceptions of what’s going on in, around and through me—be that cancer, global warming or the so-called fiscal cliff to the decision maker within and choose spirit over ego. Choosing the content of spirit: peace, joy, compassion, fearlessness, creativity and inclusion first, having the intention to manifest this in the world, rather than the ego’s various forms as anger, fear, competition, blame and guilt is what taking things less seriously is about.

 

The only work I must do is bring the ego to spirit. After all, can I really be responsible for decisions about which I know so little? Spirit knows…like the Shadow knows…. We judge what we know nothing about, and are thus always wrong. Our limited egos can never understand the meaning of things or even what is in our own best interests, let alone the whole world’s. To try and judge, which we do constantly second after second, is the height of arrogance. Yet this is exactly the ego’s plan, which we follow slavishly, to have us think we know and understand.

 

Taking things less seriously, pausing and shifting to the inner decision maker is spirit’s plan and it works better.

Birth

Understanding and reframing the ego’s panic—thinking about it differently, helps me be kind and gentle with it as I continue the process of shifting away from it towards spirit. Thinking about the shift process as a birth and the ego as an expectant mother who knows nothing about birth, helps me be kinder and gentler with it.

 

If I was a mother going into delivery and had never heard of birth, I might think I was dying. If I didn’t know the baby would grow up, it would be very difficult to care of it. The ego is the expectant mother that doesn’t know about birth and evolution of its child. Of course it’s going to panic! But I, the decision maker, know and I can inform and comfort my ego as I continue to shift away from it and choose spirit. Of course the birth and awakening of spirit is scary, messy and dangerous…to the ego. But not to us. Knowing of the peace, joy, compassion and creativity that is mine as spirit, makes it easier to be compassionate with the ego’s fear and panic and to soothe and love it each time I experience it.

The Never-Ending Process

I definitely wish and want the identity shift away from ego to spirit to be done already! God knows, and She knows everything, that I’ve been working on it consciously for a quarter of a century, so it’s time already! But no, it’s a process, a seemingly never ending process. From an ego perspective, this seems like punishment, like failure and inadequacy. Why can’t I—the ego, get this done!  Well, fact is, the ego will never get it done, because that would mean its demise. So like the old Playboy philosophy of ‘look but don’t touch’, the ego makes spiritual noises, but will never be spiritual.

 

What moves me forward with the process of shifting is my intention to move forward, my realization that I am spirit first, and my compassionate understanding of how the ego works. Something else that helps with the forward motion are my experiences of being light—of being pure, fearless, limitless, creative energy.

 

Light is energy and energy is, like consciousness, ever present in and thru all that is. Since there is no beginning or end to energy, so there is no beginning or end to ‘me’—the non-ego me. Thus, when I awake from the ego nightmare of life and get my bloated nothingness out of the way of the divine circuits, all that’s left is my light--the natural joy, fearlessness, compassion and creativity of spirit. It’s my intention to experience that light more and more, to shift from ego to spirit and to keep on keeping on, even tho the ego panics, yells, screams and berates me for wasting my time.

Ego Panic

But, when I start taking things less seriously, my ego panics. What?!? It says. You’re not going to worry about that? You’re going to trust, who – God?!? Really?!? You’re going to be open, to allow yourself to experience things differently? You’re not going to do what you always did? But we’ve worked that out, painfully. It’s not the best, but it’s good enough. How do you really know the new way will be better, or even work? What if it makes things worse?  Things are pretty bad already, aren’t they? Remember the last time you stopped worrying and took things less seriously, had faith, trusted, let go and let God? How’d that work for you?

 

The ego panics and when it panics we get fear, a headache and much worse. We get stressed out, can’t think straight, worry even more, get paralyzed, want to and do shrivel up inside, want to disappear and die. Because shriveling up, disappearing and dying is what will happen to the ego when we identify more with spirit, less with it, take things less seriously, have faith, trust, let go and let God. The ego will do everything from cancer to war to keep us taking things here very seriously.

 

We need to expect the ego to react this way, understand why it does what it does and be kind and gentle with it. The ego will always do what it does. But we are not the ego. We are the decision maker that chooses between the ego and spirit. We need not take the experience of the ego’s panic so seriously. We can feel it, acknowledge it for what it is, take whatever action seems best and most consistent with our intention to identify more with spirit and go on. Ego panic is a constant on-going experience, especially as we take things less seriously and identify more with spirit. But we can reframe ego panic and learn that each time we experience it is an opportunity to double down, to be kind and gentle with ego, but continue our identity shift.

Feedback

So, the ‘outside’ is feedback about the ‘inside.’ Literally. Feedback: info, neutral information about a state or condition. Not judgment or opinion simply information that can be used to decide if I’m on course or off course. If the feedback indicates I’m on course, then I keep doing what I’m doing. If it indicates I’m off course, then I choose actions that will put me back on course. Either way, on or off course, the feedback is useful.

 

‘Inside’ and ‘outside’ are in single quotes to suggest the lack of distinction between them. Given what the earlier posts have said, all meaning, decision making and experience start on the inside. This suggests that only the ‘inside’ is real, and further, that what we label ‘inside’ reality is only a temporary condition that will pass as do the clouds obscuring the sun of our reality as spirit: peaceful, joyous, fearless, creative and loving. When I get the clouds of my bloated nothingness out of the way, the sun of divine reality are revealed.

 

So I want to use my experience, inner and outer, to learn not to take things, both inner and outer, too seriously because they have no effect on my inner peace as spirit. This does not mean I deny my pain, sickness, fear or anxiety, only that I accept that the problem is not what I think it is. The problem is not what I think is happening inside or outside, but that I identified with the ego instead of spirit. My experience is not a problem to be overcome, but only feedback, telling me I’m on course with spirit or off course with the ego.

 

As long as my most fundamental beliefs about the world and living are based  on original sin, dog-eat-dog, scarcity, lack, duality and the separation of matter and spirit, then I will see these reflected in my daily experiences. And by the same principle, when I am able to not take the ego so seriously and am able to shift from myself to mySelf and am open to spirit’s compassion, joy, creativity, fearlessness, inclusion and abundance, I see these reflected in my daily experiences.

Projection Makes Perception

Projection makes perception. Whether we’re aware of it or not, experience begins on the inside and get’s projected out.  The consciousness that we are a part of and of which everything is composed, is always accepting our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Like clay or jello, consciousness receives the impressions we make in it and reflects them back at us. That is not only what Goswami and many Quantum physicists have discovered, but also what all the great spiritual avatars throughout the ages have said. Seek ye the Kingdom first.

 

What this means is, that it is not the ego itself that is the problem, but my mind’s decision to believe in the ego that is the problem. Both the physics and spiritual wisdom agree, I make real in my experience what I most fervently believe in. What I see outside me: the fear, guilt, blame and terror are a reflection of what I see within me, first.

 

As long as my most fundamental beliefs about the world and living are based  on original sin, dog-eat-dog, scarcity, lack, duality and the separation of matter and spirit, then I will see these reflected in my daily experiences. And by the same principle, when I am able to not take the ego so seriously and am able to shift from myself to mySelf and am open to spirit’s compassion, joy, creativity, fearlessness, inclusion and abundance, I see these reflected in my daily experiences.

 

What I’m experiencing outside is a reflection of what I’m experiencing inside, so “seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world,” The Course says. Without judgment, guilt, blame, punishment or attack on myself, others and events, I can simply understand how the cosmic ‘system’ works and choose again. Remember, it’s not the ego itself that is the problem, but my mind’s decision to believe in the ego and all its horror and negativity that is the problem.

The Experience of Flow

From the space of the grandeur of spirit’s magnitude, we experience a fearlessness, freedom and guilt-free lightness, a sense that anything is possible and that we live in a benign no limits world. This is what Quantum physicist Amit Goswami calls a ‘flow experience,’ an experience of being in the zone, an experience of wholeness and oneness. Through such experiences we learn that spirit is not something separate from us, but a part of us, and not only a ‘part’ of us, but the truth about who we and all creation are.

 

Flow experiences show that realizing the intention to go within and seek the Kingdom first, works best.  Goswami’s view of Quantum Physics is that matter first exists as possibility within consciousness. This scientific finding of the ‘primacy of consciousness’ and ‘downward causation’ shows that the classic injunction to go within and seek the Kingdom first, not only works best but is a correct and accurate description of how things actually work in the world. This finding also shows that not only is our traditional world view of downward causation’- that nothing but physical matter is real and that the root cause of everything flows from subatomic matter, is wrong, but that this view inhibits us, actually creates limitations, and blocks our ability to solve problems and create solutions.

 

The integration of Science and Spirit, both/and instead of either/or is the key to transformation, the key to seeing problems and opportunities. Yes, Spirit is first and primary but to work with it we need reliable, sustainable science. “The road to freedom lies not through mysteries or occult performances,” Ernest Holmes says, “but through the intelligent us of natural forces and laws” such as the primacy of consciousness and spirit shown by Quantum Mechanics. “We have been looking for the right things in the wrong places,” Goswami says and now it’s time to shift. Deep down, we know what to do, we just have to do it.

The 'Isness' of Experience

The ‘isness’ of experience in the now suggests that we accept our bodies and personalities as they are now also, but undo and escape from the burden of guilt the ego has placed on them. “Rather than harbor self blame (or blame) for a life of scarcity, for instance,” Ken Wapnick of The Course says, “we could surmount our painful circumstances by learning that feelings of self worth are not contingent on meeting the world’s criteria of success, but on recognizing that the mind is the source of all scarcity and abundance – and what we experience is our choice.”

 

Experiences of limitation: spiritual, mental, emotional or physical are almost always thought of as negative, that there is something wrong with us because….. But experiences of limitation are also great teachers. Consider Helen Keller. She shows us that inner peace is not dependent on external circumstances. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with having ego thoughts and ‘negative’ experiences as long as we don’t make them our primary focus.

 

We can escape from allowing ‘limitations’ and  ‘negative’ experiences to be our primary focus and to make us feel guilty by seeing them as opportunities to shift our identity, to quit identifying with ourselves and start identifying with ourSelves.  Appreciating that our experiences are a learning laboratory, shows us that the real problem is the mind’s decision to identify with the grandiosity of the ego’s littleness rather than the grandeur of spirit’s magnitude.

Experience Just Is

I recently had two or three ‘bad’ experiences that turned out ‘good’ and took me in directions I needed and wanted to go, but wouldn’t have gone if those ‘bad’ experiences hadn’t happened.  Hasn’t that happened to you? Using the past, the ego judges and labels experiences ‘good’ and ‘bad,’ but for spirit which exists only now, doesn’t judge and doesn’t use labels, experiences just are, and it’s up to me to make sense of them, give them meaning, decide if they’re ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

 

But when I read the paper or watch the news or have ‘bad’ experiences, it’s difficult to remember that I have a choice about experiencing with ego or spirit. I literally have to stop and ask to experience things differently, with spirit instead of ego. When I take the time to become still and quiet the ego, I begin to understand what’s going on - that my poor tiny ego is trying to control everything, and be right about everything, and then I can shift to spirit and appreciate that there’s so much more than I can ever grasp and it’s all unfolding for the highest and best of all concerned!

 

The more I catch myself defaulting to ego, stop, shift and dwell with the inclusive, compassionate inner world of spirit, the more that world becomes my outer experience. It’s so cool, allowing ‘bad’ experiences to become ‘good’ experiences!

 

Experience &the Ego

The kind of experience I’m talking about is a ‘full’ transcendent experience, an experience involving all aspects of being human: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical, an experience that makes us feel whole, complete, different and strangely exhilarated.

 

We routinely have experiences that emphasize one or the other of the four aspects and down play the others. But a ‘full’ transcendent experience, one involving and integrating all aspects of who we are simultaneously is rare.

 

That’s because our inner gatekeeper, the ego, can not manage and control a ‘full’ transcendent experience. Full transcendent experiences overwhelm and threaten the ego, so it avoids them, instead focusing us on a single aspect of our being, usually the mental or physical, while avoiding the spiritual and emotional aspects. And the ego is right in its fear, for ‘transcendent’ means transcending or bypassing the ego.

 

To have a ‘full’ transcendent experience, the ego would have to willingly surrender, which it is loath to do. But we can help it surrender by staying in the now, relying on loose/tight both/and thinking, realizing we’re with ego when we find ourselves blaming, excluding, judging and punishing, and choosing spirit’s grace, compassion, love and peace instead. We want to show the ego its ineffectiveness and train it to if not, surrender then at least let go and let God a bit more often.

Experience & Now

Spirit can only be experienced and experience can only happen now. We can re-experience spirit and other things now, but that is merely a memory of the past not an experience. We can know and experience our spiritual reality, quietly and effortlessly, only now, in this moment.  If we are experiencing fear, worry or urgency, we are not in the now, not with spirit, but with ego thinking about the future.

 

Now is an empty space, a blank page, a clean slate—a place to be open and receptive to the still small voice of spirit within, an opportunity for new beginnings. Often, the emptiness is frightening and our ego selves rush to fill it with hopes, dreams, fears and worries.

 

But if we—Republicans and Democrats, men and women, can have faith in our reality as spirit, stay with the emptiness and let our bloated nothingness go, we are blessed with the experience of grace; rewarded with the experience of effortless, quiet wholeness – the quiet knowing that we need not worry, rush or suffer; that if we get out of the way, get our ego selves out of the way, our Self, will come thru with exactly what we need, when we need it.

Now

The past was reality. But it does not remain reality.

 

The past is only real and with us now, in the present, because we choose to make it real. Now is all there is, the only time there is.

 

If now we choose to remember the past and choose to believe we are the products of our upbringing, then we are giving our power away and not being responsible. And how accurately do we remember the past? Are we remembering everything about a particular situation that is important to us, or only some things? If we selectively perceive the present, paying attention to some things and not others, how much more do we selectively perceive the past?

 

Don’t believe now is the only time there is?  Try breathing for five minutes ago…or five minutes into the future.

 

It is in this moment we choose, only this moment.

 

The ego would have you believe that if you are unhappy now, it is not because of a decision you are making, now. No, not at all. You didn’t ask for this. You are simply the innocent victim of the past. And even if you did do some terrible thing in the past and it cannot be undone, or some terrible thing happened to you and it cannot be undone, now is still the only time you can make amends or forgive yourself and others.

 

Now is all the time there is, the only time that matters. Try breathing for five minutes ago…or for five minutes into the future….

Quiet Knowing

 

Another way of thinking about loose/tight thinking is as a quiet knowing.

 

Quiet knowing dawns on our awareness gradually, like a sunrise. As in a sunrise, the darkness of fear, doubt, blame and exclusion slowly give way to the certainty of love, strength, courage and creativity. But unlike the sunrise which must come (we hope!), quiet knowing though also inevitable, may be blocked and delayed. Our ability to choose cannot keep the sun from rising, but it can keep quiet knowing from dawning.

 

With quiet knowing as our compass we come to understand that it is not only what we, believe, say or do that matters, but the purpose of what we believe, say or do - our intention, that matters.

 

This is how so-called ‘tough love’ works. If quiet knowing reveals that our purpose and intention is to bless and heal, than blessings and healing flow from what we believe, say or do. The words and actions may seem harsh from a surfacey ego perspective, but when guided by quiet knowing and the intention to heal and bless, the effect of the words and actions is anything but harsh.

 

Spirit can use anything and everything in our hearts, minds and behaviors, whatever we believe, say or do, even when those things seem the complete opposite of what the ego labels ‘spiritual’. Only choose spirit and quiet knowing first then give spirit the lemons in your life and experience spirit making lemonade.

Loose/Tight Thinking

The kind of ‘thinking’ I’ve been writing about, is the so-called ‘loose/tight’ kind, the kind in which you hold your usual, habitual ways of thinking loosely, but cling tightly to your ideal spiritual vision. The habitual ways you want to hold loosely are: pessimism, fear, pre-emptive attack, blame, hyper-vigilance and business as usual planning. The ideal spiritual vision you want to cling to is: optimism and a vision of an inclusive world that works for everyone and everything in it. We need not know how, and indeed can not know how to bring such a world about, but only that we desire it, believe such a world is possible and are willing to take the next step, the step that feels right, that we are guided to take.

 

‘Loose/tight’ thinking is more intuitive than rational, more inner than outer. It involves both sides of our brains, the rational analytical left side and the intuitive visionary right side. It is ‘whole brain’ thinking, both/and thinking, in which we use all of our mental capacity. It emphasizes the intuitive and visionary, because normally we de-emphasize these. 

 

Loose/tight thinking is the kind of thinking that enables us to be aware of our intentions, will not engender blame or guilt when we ‘fail’ to meet them, but rather sees such ‘failures’ as opportunities for a necessary course correction. Loose/tight thinking is more about resonance than deciding. It’s like the way we appreciate a song, a painting or a sunset. The song just resonates within us and we like it. We don’t decide to like it, we feel we like it, we know we like it, we just like it.

 

So loose/tight thinking is the kind of thinking I’ve been writing about. Try it, it works, plus it’s a great freeing, empowering, more creative and less stressful change from our habitual ways of thinking.