Ego Panic

But, when I start taking things less seriously, my ego panics. What?!? It says. You’re not going to worry about that? You’re going to trust, who – God?!? Really?!? You’re going to be open, to allow yourself to experience things differently? You’re not going to do what you always did? But we’ve worked that out, painfully. It’s not the best, but it’s good enough. How do you really know the new way will be better, or even work? What if it makes things worse?  Things are pretty bad already, aren’t they? Remember the last time you stopped worrying and took things less seriously, had faith, trusted, let go and let God? How’d that work for you?

 

The ego panics and when it panics we get fear, a headache and much worse. We get stressed out, can’t think straight, worry even more, get paralyzed, want to and do shrivel up inside, want to disappear and die. Because shriveling up, disappearing and dying is what will happen to the ego when we identify more with spirit, less with it, take things less seriously, have faith, trust, let go and let God. The ego will do everything from cancer to war to keep us taking things here very seriously.

 

We need to expect the ego to react this way, understand why it does what it does and be kind and gentle with it. The ego will always do what it does. But we are not the ego. We are the decision maker that chooses between the ego and spirit. We need not take the experience of the ego’s panic so seriously. We can feel it, acknowledge it for what it is, take whatever action seems best and most consistent with our intention to identify more with spirit and go on. Ego panic is a constant on-going experience, especially as we take things less seriously and identify more with spirit. But we can reframe ego panic and learn that each time we experience it is an opportunity to double down, to be kind and gentle with ego, but continue our identity shift.

Feedback

So, the ‘outside’ is feedback about the ‘inside.’ Literally. Feedback: info, neutral information about a state or condition. Not judgment or opinion simply information that can be used to decide if I’m on course or off course. If the feedback indicates I’m on course, then I keep doing what I’m doing. If it indicates I’m off course, then I choose actions that will put me back on course. Either way, on or off course, the feedback is useful.

 

‘Inside’ and ‘outside’ are in single quotes to suggest the lack of distinction between them. Given what the earlier posts have said, all meaning, decision making and experience start on the inside. This suggests that only the ‘inside’ is real, and further, that what we label ‘inside’ reality is only a temporary condition that will pass as do the clouds obscuring the sun of our reality as spirit: peaceful, joyous, fearless, creative and loving. When I get the clouds of my bloated nothingness out of the way, the sun of divine reality are revealed.

 

So I want to use my experience, inner and outer, to learn not to take things, both inner and outer, too seriously because they have no effect on my inner peace as spirit. This does not mean I deny my pain, sickness, fear or anxiety, only that I accept that the problem is not what I think it is. The problem is not what I think is happening inside or outside, but that I identified with the ego instead of spirit. My experience is not a problem to be overcome, but only feedback, telling me I’m on course with spirit or off course with the ego.

 

As long as my most fundamental beliefs about the world and living are based  on original sin, dog-eat-dog, scarcity, lack, duality and the separation of matter and spirit, then I will see these reflected in my daily experiences. And by the same principle, when I am able to not take the ego so seriously and am able to shift from myself to mySelf and am open to spirit’s compassion, joy, creativity, fearlessness, inclusion and abundance, I see these reflected in my daily experiences.

Projection Makes Perception

Projection makes perception. Whether we’re aware of it or not, experience begins on the inside and get’s projected out.  The consciousness that we are a part of and of which everything is composed, is always accepting our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Like clay or jello, consciousness receives the impressions we make in it and reflects them back at us. That is not only what Goswami and many Quantum physicists have discovered, but also what all the great spiritual avatars throughout the ages have said. Seek ye the Kingdom first.

 

What this means is, that it is not the ego itself that is the problem, but my mind’s decision to believe in the ego that is the problem. Both the physics and spiritual wisdom agree, I make real in my experience what I most fervently believe in. What I see outside me: the fear, guilt, blame and terror are a reflection of what I see within me, first.

 

As long as my most fundamental beliefs about the world and living are based  on original sin, dog-eat-dog, scarcity, lack, duality and the separation of matter and spirit, then I will see these reflected in my daily experiences. And by the same principle, when I am able to not take the ego so seriously and am able to shift from myself to mySelf and am open to spirit’s compassion, joy, creativity, fearlessness, inclusion and abundance, I see these reflected in my daily experiences.

 

What I’m experiencing outside is a reflection of what I’m experiencing inside, so “seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world,” The Course says. Without judgment, guilt, blame, punishment or attack on myself, others and events, I can simply understand how the cosmic ‘system’ works and choose again. Remember, it’s not the ego itself that is the problem, but my mind’s decision to believe in the ego and all its horror and negativity that is the problem.

The Experience of Flow

From the space of the grandeur of spirit’s magnitude, we experience a fearlessness, freedom and guilt-free lightness, a sense that anything is possible and that we live in a benign no limits world. This is what Quantum physicist Amit Goswami calls a ‘flow experience,’ an experience of being in the zone, an experience of wholeness and oneness. Through such experiences we learn that spirit is not something separate from us, but a part of us, and not only a ‘part’ of us, but the truth about who we and all creation are.

 

Flow experiences show that realizing the intention to go within and seek the Kingdom first, works best.  Goswami’s view of Quantum Physics is that matter first exists as possibility within consciousness. This scientific finding of the ‘primacy of consciousness’ and ‘downward causation’ shows that the classic injunction to go within and seek the Kingdom first, not only works best but is a correct and accurate description of how things actually work in the world. This finding also shows that not only is our traditional world view of downward causation’- that nothing but physical matter is real and that the root cause of everything flows from subatomic matter, is wrong, but that this view inhibits us, actually creates limitations, and blocks our ability to solve problems and create solutions.

 

The integration of Science and Spirit, both/and instead of either/or is the key to transformation, the key to seeing problems and opportunities. Yes, Spirit is first and primary but to work with it we need reliable, sustainable science. “The road to freedom lies not through mysteries or occult performances,” Ernest Holmes says, “but through the intelligent us of natural forces and laws” such as the primacy of consciousness and spirit shown by Quantum Mechanics. “We have been looking for the right things in the wrong places,” Goswami says and now it’s time to shift. Deep down, we know what to do, we just have to do it.

The 'Isness' of Experience

The ‘isness’ of experience in the now suggests that we accept our bodies and personalities as they are now also, but undo and escape from the burden of guilt the ego has placed on them. “Rather than harbor self blame (or blame) for a life of scarcity, for instance,” Ken Wapnick of The Course says, “we could surmount our painful circumstances by learning that feelings of self worth are not contingent on meeting the world’s criteria of success, but on recognizing that the mind is the source of all scarcity and abundance – and what we experience is our choice.”

 

Experiences of limitation: spiritual, mental, emotional or physical are almost always thought of as negative, that there is something wrong with us because….. But experiences of limitation are also great teachers. Consider Helen Keller. She shows us that inner peace is not dependent on external circumstances. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with having ego thoughts and ‘negative’ experiences as long as we don’t make them our primary focus.

 

We can escape from allowing ‘limitations’ and  ‘negative’ experiences to be our primary focus and to make us feel guilty by seeing them as opportunities to shift our identity, to quit identifying with ourselves and start identifying with ourSelves.  Appreciating that our experiences are a learning laboratory, shows us that the real problem is the mind’s decision to identify with the grandiosity of the ego’s littleness rather than the grandeur of spirit’s magnitude.

Experience Just Is

I recently had two or three ‘bad’ experiences that turned out ‘good’ and took me in directions I needed and wanted to go, but wouldn’t have gone if those ‘bad’ experiences hadn’t happened.  Hasn’t that happened to you? Using the past, the ego judges and labels experiences ‘good’ and ‘bad,’ but for spirit which exists only now, doesn’t judge and doesn’t use labels, experiences just are, and it’s up to me to make sense of them, give them meaning, decide if they’re ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

 

But when I read the paper or watch the news or have ‘bad’ experiences, it’s difficult to remember that I have a choice about experiencing with ego or spirit. I literally have to stop and ask to experience things differently, with spirit instead of ego. When I take the time to become still and quiet the ego, I begin to understand what’s going on - that my poor tiny ego is trying to control everything, and be right about everything, and then I can shift to spirit and appreciate that there’s so much more than I can ever grasp and it’s all unfolding for the highest and best of all concerned!

 

The more I catch myself defaulting to ego, stop, shift and dwell with the inclusive, compassionate inner world of spirit, the more that world becomes my outer experience. It’s so cool, allowing ‘bad’ experiences to become ‘good’ experiences!

 

Experience &the Ego

The kind of experience I’m talking about is a ‘full’ transcendent experience, an experience involving all aspects of being human: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical, an experience that makes us feel whole, complete, different and strangely exhilarated.

 

We routinely have experiences that emphasize one or the other of the four aspects and down play the others. But a ‘full’ transcendent experience, one involving and integrating all aspects of who we are simultaneously is rare.

 

That’s because our inner gatekeeper, the ego, can not manage and control a ‘full’ transcendent experience. Full transcendent experiences overwhelm and threaten the ego, so it avoids them, instead focusing us on a single aspect of our being, usually the mental or physical, while avoiding the spiritual and emotional aspects. And the ego is right in its fear, for ‘transcendent’ means transcending or bypassing the ego.

 

To have a ‘full’ transcendent experience, the ego would have to willingly surrender, which it is loath to do. But we can help it surrender by staying in the now, relying on loose/tight both/and thinking, realizing we’re with ego when we find ourselves blaming, excluding, judging and punishing, and choosing spirit’s grace, compassion, love and peace instead. We want to show the ego its ineffectiveness and train it to if not, surrender then at least let go and let God a bit more often.