One or the Other, 2

The self I’ve made, my ego self, can never be my true Self, and my true Self can never be split in two and still be what It is. When I think my Self can be split in two, into ego and spirit, good and evil, as I do 99.5% of the time, I’m making the split real, experiencing it as if it really happened, which it hasn’t. What has to be undone is not the split and my ego which I experience as real, but my belief in them. Trying to undo the split or the ego, merely strengthens my belief in them. To have peace and joy, I have to undo the mind’s belief, what’s going on in the projection booth, not the screen, the decision to be separate from spirit.

Mind, equated with spirit, and body, equated with ego, cannot both exist. It’s one or the other, ego or God. I see the flesh or recognize the spirit. There is no compromise between the two. If one is real, the other must be false, for what is real denies its opposite. I know which I’m identifying with by how I’m feeling – peace – spirit, anxiety – ego. I’m constantly shifting between these two all the time, usually unconsciously. When I become aware of these shifts, I try to reconcile the two. But this can’t be done for one denies the other.

Trying to reconcile the two, to integrate mind, body and spirit, which seems like a wonderful goal and useful spiritual practice, is bringing spirit into the world to fix the world, which denies the singular reality of spirit and the illusory nature of the world. Once dragged into the world, spirit ceases to be itself. What is all-encompassing can have no opposite. The all-encompassing spirit has no place in a world of opposites. Spirit, mind and body cannot be integrated, which is what the ego urges us to do, because spirit transcends the mind and body entirely.

If I am spirit, one Self united with my creator, unified within myself, I cannot be a body, nor an individual. Yet my ego ‘reality,’ my everyday experience denies this. Of course I’m a body, I hurt, feel joy, get hungry, have ideals. But really, there is one choice for the millions and billion of earthly phenomena, problems and pleasures in my life, and that is: spirit or flesh. Remember, this does not mean undoing the world, flesh and ego, but simply looking at them from the perspective of my reality as spirit and forgiving the mistake of identifying with my small self, instead of my big Self. With each experience and each moment we have the opportunity of deciding who we are, children of the ego, or children of spirit, then forgiving ourselves when 99.5% of the time, we choose the ego.

One or the Other

The self I’ve made, my ego self, can never be my true Self, and my true Self can never be split in two and still be what It is. When I think my Self can be split in two, into both ego and spirit, good and evil, as I do 99.5% of the time, I’m making the split real, experiencing it as if it really happened, which it hasn’t. What has to be undone is not the split and my ego which I experience as real, but my belief in them, my belief that they are real. Trying to undo the split or the ego, merely strengthens my belief in them. To have peace and joy, I have to undo the mind’s belief, what’s going on in the projection booth, not the screen, the decision to be separate from spirit.

Mind, equated with spirit, and body, equated with ego, cannot both exist. It’s one or the other, ego or God. I see the flesh or recognize the spirit. There is no compromise between the two. If one is real, the other must be false, for what is real denies its opposite. I know which I’m identifying with by how I’m feeling – peace – spirit, anxiety – ego. I’m constantly shifting between these two, usually unconsciously. When I become aware of these shifts, I try to reconcile the two. But this can’t be done for one denies the other.

Trying to reconcile the two, to integrate mind, body and spirit, which seems like a wonderful goal and a useful spiritual practice, is bringing spirit into the world to fix the world, which denies the singular reality of spirit and the illusory nature of the world. Once dragged into the world, spirit ceases to be itself. What is all-encompassing can have no opposite. The all-encompassing spirit has no place in a world of opposites. Spirit, mind and body cannot be integrated, which is what the ego urges us to do, because spirit transcends the mind and body entirely.

If I am spirit, one Self united with my creator, unified within myself, I cannot be a body, nor an individual. Yet my ego ‘reality,’ my everyday experience denies this. Of course I’m a body it says, I hurt, feel joy, get hungry, have ideals. But really, there is one choice for the millions and billions of earthly phenomena, problems and pleasures in my life, and that is: spirit or flesh. Remember, this does not mean undoing the world, flesh and ego, but simply overlooking them, looking past them to my reality as spirit and forgiving the mistake of identifying with my small self, instead of my big Self. With each experience and each moment we have the opportunity of deciding who we are, children of the ego, or children of spirit, then forgiving ourselves when 99.5% of the time, we choose the ego.

It's a Mistake, Not a Sin

And when, once again, I catch myself judging, I want to remember that judging is a mistake, only a mistake in spirit’s eyes, a case of mistaken identity, of identifying myself as a separate ego instead of a spiritual being united with my creator and all the other spiritual beings. I want to remember that judging is simply a mistake, not a sin.

If it were a sin, God would have to punish me [the ego’s god, the real God only loves and forgives], I’d feel guilty and anxious and fear divine retribution. None of that guilt and anxiety is necessary if it’s only a mistake. But I almost always think my mistake is a sin, and each time I am mistaken, put myself through the whole guilt, anxiety, jitters thing. The problem is not that I made a mistake, I will always be making mistakes, being human is making mistakes, but that I was unwilling to have the mistake forgiven, corrected by the gentle love of spirit.

Unwilling, because I fear being enfolded in the gentle love of spirit and experiencing my place in the oneness with my big Self, would be the end the ego, of my little self, and it would be. And that’s scary. So I make mistakes, not because I’m ‘bad’ or a ‘loser’ but to preserve my special identity, my small self, my ego.

But, spirit is constantly whispering that teaching me by my mistakes is OK and will not delay my awakening. It knows who I really am. It does not matter how often and how many times I forget my true identity, nor how many mistakes and seeming sins I commit, spirit reminds me that the timeless truth of my Self is unaffected.

Spirit tells me that whenever I am tempted to judge or see myself as unfairly treated, hold a grievance, or as not receiving the love and attention I feel my specialness – my ego’s small self, deserves or demands, I can say, “there I go again” and go directly to spirit and say, “I must be looking at this wrong, please help me,” and the help will come. This is having the big mistake of thinking I’m an ego forgiven and corrected by the gentle love of spirit. Spirit is never delayed by our mistakes, but the experience of our happiness most definitely is.

Looking at the Jitters Differently

It’s not really what’s going on either inside or outside me, tho I judge it as either good or bad, the problem is the fact that I am judging. The problem is that if I’m judging, then I’m with ego.

What I’m learning to do is catch myself judging and stop as soon as I catch myself. Judging is inevitable and essential as long as I think I’m in the world with ego. By saying, “Oh, there I go again,” I’m acknowledging my inevitable involvement with ego without the judgment and guilt that goes with it, while leaving myself free to interpret whatever the phenomena is with spirit, to love what is, and to see it as a learning experience and an opportunity to shift from ego to spirit.

It’s the interpretation of the phenomena, whether my everyday ego consciousness sees it as good or bad, that causes difficulty and makes the ego’s interpretation of the world real, not the phenomena itself. In fact, seen in that light, each time I do catch myself judging, don’t blame myself and even forgive myself, I’m using my experience as a learning opportunity, and an opportunity to shift. And though judging feels like an incorrect way to live, if I catch myself and forgive, judging then becomes a correct way to live. Each time I catch me or you judging and am able to say, “Oh, there we go again,” without guilt or blame, I undo the guilt and fear that make the ego’s interpretation’s of the world real.

So, I need not judge the phenomena or the world as ‘good’ to love what is, all I need do is catch myself judging, forgive myself, and ask spirit for a different interpretation. It is in the forgiveness that the love of spirit is found. It is the experience of forgiveness and love that is itself the different interpretation.

The Jitters Again

I’m “jittery” again, anxious, tight throat, difficult breathing. I can take something homeopathic for it and it usually helps. But I’m wanting to manage it from a spiritual perspective. I’m wanting to acknowledge the physical conditions, know they’re only temporary, like clouds passing across the sun, not judge them or take them so seriously, ask spirit for help and go past the jitter stuff to the light, joy and peace that I know, abide in me. This takes practice and God knows, I’m getting plenty of practice! It’s a process, the Course says, got to remember that, and take one step at a time.

I used to think, and kind of still do, that the jitters meant that there was something wrong with me. It sure feels like there’s something wrong and its very uncomfortable, too. Now I try to think that the jitters are actually covering up my light, joy and peace, like a cloud passing across the sun and that if I stop dwelling on the jitters, then I will experience my light, joy and peace. Yes, experience the jitters, but don’t dwell on them, nor look for reasons and explanations. Simply acknowledge them, look at them with spirit – but I can’t get to spirit, ‘cause I’m jittery - and let my birthright of light, joy and peace replace them. But, as long as I ask the body to tell me what reality is, I’ll have the jitters and won’t be able to reach spirit.

Having the jitters is feedback and means I’m identifying with ego, with my bloated nothingness, not spirit, and think I’m stuck in the body. What I’ve got to do, only for an instant, is relinquish all thoughts about who I think I am, a body, and allow the ‘other’ reality, my reality as a spiritual being, to express. Once I believe I am separate from spirit, I can not see anything but projected shadows of my own nothingness, the fearful ramblings and rantings of my ego. Naturally I’m anxious! Believing I’m separate from spirit and reliant on the ego’s pathetic, limited, paranoid version of the world is scary.

So I can’t get there from here: understand truth [spirit] from the perspective of illusion [the body]. It’s either/or: either spirit or the ego. To get to spirit, I’ve got to give up ego. Doing this is a process and the jitters are part of that process; so, in a perverse way, from the ego/body’s perspective, the jitters are a useful good thing.

Remedies for the jitters include saying to myself, “Oh, there I go again,” instead of worrying, judging, feeling anxious and being afraid; remembering to ask to see things differently, with spirit instead of ego; and identifying the thoughts that I’m judging against, release them and realize they’re only thoughts, and like the clouds that hide the sun, will soon be gone, revealing the light that was always there. It’s only when I take the thoughts and conditions seriously, as right and wrong, life and death [which they are to the ego], that I make them real and able to bother my body. I want to be able to as Byron Katie says, “love what is” both inside and outside me.

If-then Revisited

In the past, I’ve written suggesting that the “if-then” proposition limits us, requiring some pre-condition to get another condition. For example, “I’ll be happy when the house is paid off.” In other words, if the house is paid off, then I’ll be happy. My point was and remains, be happy first, it’s your birthright as a spiritual being, whether the house is paid off or not.

Here’s another way of perceiving the “if-then.” If God is true [and It is] and we remain as It created us [true and good and sinless as Itself], then light and joy and peace abide in us. The practical application of this is: If I am as God created me, rich with goodness and power, as It is, then darkness cannot obscure the glory of God’s Son – me, you and the Oneness of all humanity and all of creation. It means, darkness, evil and everything the ego has taught and the world represents is false if, and this is a biggy, if we seek spirit first, last and always and turn away from the idea of separation and the ego’s thought system. If we go within and connect with our inner wisdom, peace and power first - our reality as spiritual beings, we will not be bound by the ego’s illusions of the world, nor bound by pre-conditions, and can exercise our birthright to be happy right now, mortgage or mortgage, deficit or no deficit, cancer or no cancer, if we so choose. This is what Victor Frankel meant by the “final freedom.”

Leonard Pitts Jr.’s column today also deals this inverted “if-then” proposition, but from a slightly different perspective. Writing about how recent polls show a slight majority of Americans now favor gay marriage, he says while, “the will of the people matters a great deal” in a democracy, “the idea that human rights [such as marriage] are subject to a popularity contest,” is not reasonable nor correct. Now here comes the “if-then”: If, Pitts says, as Thomas Jefferson wrote, human rights are ‘unalienable’ and that we are endowed with them from birth, then you and I cannot ‘give’ rights. We can only acknowledge, respect and defend the rights human beings are born with. If human rights are inalienable, given at birth, then we can not accept the notion that such rights are doled out to a minority on a timetable of the majority’s choosing. “You don’t do the right thing because it’s popular. You do it because it’s right.” In other words, if all of us are created equal, then all of us must be treated equally – race, religion, political party and sexual preferences not withstanding.

Humor

Children's Science Exam

If you need a good laugh, read through these children's science exam answers...
don't know what grade they're in or where its from, but it's FUNNY!

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the boraxcontains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section'.
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.