Deny the Denaial

Devorah at HQPubs.com would approve of this post. Visit her there and see if you agree. Since the ego denies that an exchange of fear for truth is easy or even possible, it is my job to turn within and deny the denial, to allow mySelf to reveal itSelf to myself. Duh! What did I say?

 Remember the post about the frightening perceptions of little children? That when we’re little our perceptions sometimes frighten us because we do not understand them? This is still happening to us. If you and I ask for enlightenment and accept it, our fears will vanish. Poof! But we’ve got to look at what scares us. We’ve got to go within first and centered with spirit face what frightens us. This is how I and you can overcome fear, not by hiding it, nor by minimizing it and nor by denying its full import in any way.

I’ve got to deny the denial of my and your reality as spiritual beings having earthly experiences. If I refuse to face my fears or face them alone without spirit, I am holding on to them, clinging to my nightmares. I am hiding my head under the cover of the heavy blankets I have laid upon myself. I am hiding my nightmares in the darkness of my own false certainty – the belief that I know what my ego perceptions mean or because I believe I should know and don’t want to embarrass myself by asking.

Each day, hour and minute offer an opportunity to throw off the covers, open my eyes and look at what I’m afraid of. Only the anticipation is scary. Once I look with spirit I will see as FDR said that we have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

The Same But Better

How often do you feel like you’ve got to know the answer (even tho you barely comprehend the question) or have got to know what to do even when you haven’t a clue? I feel that way a lot and it makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps it makes you feel that way, too. Spirit advises not to make the mistake of believing I understand what I perceive. Become as a little child it advises because little children recognize they don’t understand and so they ask.

So as a little child I ask, going within, seeking the Kingdom first, giving my perceptions over, and asking what does this mean, asking to experience it differently, with spirit instead of ego.

Easier said than done? You betcha (as Sarah P would say)!  The difficulty is I think I know or at least I’m supposed to know or should know. But as long as I think I know or feel as if I’ve got to cover up my ignorance, I won’t embarrass myself by asking. I’ve got to be that small child and give everything over, especially the experiences and things I’m most certain of.

“Resign as your own teacher for you have been badly taught,” the Course in Miracles advises. Looking around at the mixed blessing humanity has made of the planet, there’s little doubt that this is good advice. While I vacillate between ego and spirit, spending most of my time with ego, I’m not misguided, I’ve accepted no guide at all.

I need to recognize how I vacillate but not accept it and not blame myself nor feel guilty about it. Recognizing the vacillation, I can become as a little child, go within and ask mySelf what it’s all about (Alfie), and receive the answer that is already there, within, waiting for me. Bottom line, do I and perhaps you, want the problem or do we want the answer?

Anytime, Anywhere

Devorah in Book One of The Covenant and The Scrolls (HQPubs.com) didn’t know about holographs. But she knew, like a holograph in which each part contains the whole, so the whole power of spirit is in every part of it and behind every bit of the illusion. This means that at any moment doing anything anywhere I can awaken to my reality as spirit and experience mySelf. And tho it is impossible not to believe what I see, it is equally impossible to see what I do not believe. Believing is seeing. Believing comes first. I see what I believe. What I see reflects my beliefs.

So I’m seeing the fertilizer plant in Texas, that had not been inspected for 28 years, blow-up and destroy an entire town. I’m seeing two immigrant boys bomb the Boston Marathon. I’m seeing the elected Congress of a so-called democracy frustrate the will of 90% of the population. I’m seeing a Presidential election won but the losers refusing to honor the results.

What I see reflects the thought system I’m using right now. What thought system am I using? Who am I identifying with right now, ego or spirit? I know, KNOW, that at any moment doing anything anywhere I can awaken to my reality as spirit and experience mySelf. But it is so difficult sometimes, isn’t it?

My Dark Comforters

Only you and I can deprive ourselves of anything. Not God nor Spirit, nor the Republicans nor the Democrats. Only you and I. We are responsible. Accepting this responsibility is to begin to get our heads out of our asses, to be able to see the stars and the heavens and to fan the inner spark.

Denial of this simple fact takes many forms: fear, anger, blame, each of which you and I must become aware of, breath into and with a simple: ‘Oh, there I go again,’ release. Blaming, fearing and being angry with yourself, others or conditions, keeps us locked in the ego illusion with our heads up our asses.

The beginning phases of letting go my dark comforters of fear, anger, and blame are often quite painful, for as blame is withdrawn from without, there is a tendency to direct it within. It is difficult at first to realize that this is exactly the same thing, for as spiritual beings in a spiritual universe there is no actual distinction between within and without.

So, if other people, things and events are part of me and I blame them for my experience, I’m blaming myself. Similarly, if I’m blaming myself, I’m blaming them. This is why my dark comforters of fear, anger and blame must be undone and not seen anywhere.

When tempted to indulge these emotions and fall into the ever welcoming arms of my dark comforters, I want to become aware that I’m identifying with ego, not spirit, breath into the feelings and with a simple: ‘Oh, there I go again,’ release them. This takes lots and lots of practice, but gee whiz, daily living gives us so many opportunities, doesn’t it?

 

 

Head up my ass

How can I see the stars and the heavens if I’m always looking down? How can I see the light if I’ve always got my head up my ass? If I want to see the light, to experience spirit, I’ve got to be where spirit is. Actually, you and I are already there. Spirit has done all it can. It is within us, as us, waiting.

Now it’s up to you and me to choose it. The way is not hard but it is different and being different, uncomfortable. It is up to us not to be stopped by the discomfort and difference, not to be tempted by or settle for imaginary comforters, but to continue on the way.

 But the differences and discomfort do indeed make me feel in need of familiar albeit illusory comforts. Probably you feel this, too. The Kingdom is ours within us yet we do not know it. At home in spirit we are lonely. But this need not be! If I would see the sky and stars we have but to look up. If I’m tired of the stink and the dark, it’s up to me to get my head out of my ass.

Hostage or Host?

Would I, and you, be hostage to the ego or host to spirit?

 

Spirit’s spark is already in us. Inviting a greater awareness of it, thinking with spirit ever so slightly, causes the spark to ignite and become an ever brighter light illuminating the ego’s darkness.

 

My willingness, and yours, to allow the spark to ignite need not be perfect. If we offer just a little willingness, the spark will ignite and grow ever brighter. But our willingness is essential. Spirit shares, It will not thrust Itself upon us. Real freedom depends on welcoming reality, on remembering ourSelves and allowing the spark to ignite.

 

Every healing thought I give and receive, every situation I perceive as an opportunity to affirm my, and your, identity as spirit fans the spark into flame. But remember, allow this to be the gradual process it is. We will not burst into flames of divine perfection all at once. But each time you and I nurture the spark and heed the still small voice, we become better and more like ourSelves.

Backwards

 

I’ve always thought of using my spiritual reality and my spiritual practices of meditation, mindfulness and tai-chi as ways of helping me in the world: to be a better person, be more successful and make a contribution to a world that works for everyone. But actually, what I’ve been understanding lately is that I’ve had it backward – that the point is to use the world to enhance my spiritual practices and my awareness of being a spiritual being having an earthly experience. In other words, use the world to awake to spirit, instead of using spirit to improve the world. Spirit is real, the world is the illusion.

 

Margaret Storz says in this month’s SOM Magazine: “We cannot look to externals to validate ourselves to ourselves. Spiritual growth is a lifelong journey that we are making every day. The world of conditions cannot help us” except as opportunities to remember who and what we really are.