Friday, February 25, 2011


I choose this moment, then forget, find myself being bothered or annoyed with something in my body, or my spouse, or my work – nurturing a grievance - hurting, angry, in pain and fearful and must choose again. It’s a minute-to-minute thing. My grievances hide the light of spirit in me. Miracles and grievances are mutually exclusive states. When I’m annoyed, pissed, angry, fearful I’m with ego, grieving.

The choice is to not trade miracles for grievances; to not trade the big Self, spirit, for the small self, ego. The miracle – accepting my oneness, forgiving my uncomfortable choices and seeing everything new and born again in spirit, is the correction for the ego and is already present within us. To experience it, I’ve got let go of ego’s distractions, the problems I perceive in my body and the world, the fear, anxiety, hate and blame, and return my focus to my soul and the choice I made for the ego, release that choice and choose again.

No matter how it seems, the problem is not something outside, but the mistaken choice within. To attempt to solve problems in the world is like going up to the movie screen to correct a focus problem. The solution and the problem are together, both in the projection booth. So it is with the grievances that I have. The solution and the problem are within me. Answers in the world merely raise other questions. In going within, centering, choosing again and turning from ego to spirit, I bring the problem to the answer – which, like the out of focus movie projector, was there all along.

Easy to say, difficult to do…moan and groan, grieve and complain. Along with choosing all the time, I’ve also got to remember all the time that it’s a process; it’s not a one time choice, not going to happen all at once and be done forever, it’s a constant, step by step thing. Yet the more I do it, the more I’m able to do it and the more progress I feel. But along with this progress, the crashes, even the little ones, are all the more painful.

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