Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's a Mistake, Not a Sin

And when, once again, I catch myself judging, I want to remember that judging is a mistake, only a mistake in spirit’s eyes, a case of mistaken identity, of identifying myself as a separate ego instead of a spiritual being united with my creator and all the other spiritual beings. I want to remember that judging is simply a mistake, not a sin.

If it were a sin, God would have to punish me [the ego’s god, the real God only loves and forgives], I’d feel guilty and anxious and fear divine retribution. None of that guilt and anxiety is necessary if it’s only a mistake. But I almost always think my mistake is a sin, and each time I am mistaken, put myself through the whole guilt, anxiety, jitters thing. The problem is not that I made a mistake, I will always be making mistakes, being human is making mistakes, but that I was unwilling to have the mistake forgiven, corrected by the gentle love of spirit.

Unwilling, because I fear being enfolded in the gentle love of spirit and experiencing my place in the oneness with my big Self, would be the end the ego, of my little self, and it would be. And that’s scary. So I make mistakes, not because I’m ‘bad’ or a ‘loser’ but to preserve my special identity, my small self, my ego.

But, spirit is constantly whispering that teaching me by my mistakes is OK and will not delay my awakening. It knows who I really am. It does not matter how often and how many times I forget my true identity, nor how many mistakes and seeming sins I commit, spirit reminds me that the timeless truth of my Self is unaffected.

Spirit tells me that whenever I am tempted to judge or see myself as unfairly treated, hold a grievance, or as not receiving the love and attention I feel my specialness – my ego’s small self, deserves or demands, I can say, “there I go again” and go directly to spirit and say, “I must be looking at this wrong, please help me,” and the help will come. This is having the big mistake of thinking I’m an ego forgiven and corrected by the gentle love of spirit. Spirit is never delayed by our mistakes, but the experience of our happiness most definitely is.

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