Another way of thinking about loose/tight thinking is as a quiet knowing.
Quiet knowing dawns on our awareness gradually, like a sunrise. As in a sunrise, the darkness of fear, doubt, blame and exclusion slowly give way to the certainty of love, strength, courage and creativity. But unlike the sunrise which must come (we hope!), quiet knowing though also inevitable, may be blocked and delayed. Our ability to choose cannot keep the sun from rising, but it can keep quiet knowing from dawning.
With quiet knowing as our compass we come to understand that it is not only what we, believe, say or do that matters, but the purpose of what we believe, say or do - our intention, that matters.
This is how so-called ‘tough love’ works. If quiet knowing reveals that our purpose and intention is to bless and heal, than blessings and healing flow from what we believe, say or do. The words and actions may seem harsh from a surfacey ego perspective, but when guided by quiet knowing and the intention to heal and bless, the effect of the words and actions is anything but harsh.
Spirit can use anything and everything in our hearts, minds and behaviors, whatever we believe, say or do, even when those things seem the complete opposite of what the ego labels ‘spiritual’. Only choose spirit and quiet knowing first then give spirit the lemons in your life and experience spirit making lemonade.