Humor

Paraprosdokian: Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

~ I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

~ Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

~ The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

~ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~ If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

~ We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

~ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

~ Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

~ Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

~ To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

~ A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.