Paraprosdokian Sentences 1

Paraprosdokian Sentences (what ever the hell that is? Well I'll tell ya)
A paraprosdokian (from Greek, meaning "beyond" and
"expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is
surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.


Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in
a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal words from one person is plagiarism. To steal ideas from
many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but
you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can
train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that
you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an
emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president
and 50 for Miss America ?